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Knights of the Round Table from Monty Python and the Holy Grail


Sir Lancelot as he approachs the Bridge of Death meets the Bridge-Keeper
2010 - Look for it crossing the MOOT

...Has anybody see the bridge??? - Led Zeppelin

With the reorientation of my haunt entrance through the Cemetery, I realized I needed some kind of bridge for the v-shaped gully next to the road that visitors had to cross through.  What started out as a simple bridge has become a homage to "Monty Python and the Holy Grail". The gully will be the "Gorge of Eternal Peril" and of course, the bridge is the "Bridge of Death" which the knights had to cross.

In the movie the bridge is guarded by a bridge-keeper "who asks each traveler three questions. And he who answers the three questions can cross safely.  And if you get a question wrong? Then you are cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril" (as vocalized by Arthur and his knights). I will post the bridge-keepers bit next to the bridge with the three questions, the first 2 being: What is your name? What is your quest?. However, I will put the 3 third questions used in the movie on a spinning wheel: 1) What is your favorite color? 2) What is the capital of Assyria? and 3)What is the air-speed velocity of an un-laden swallow?.  

"What do you mean? An African or European swallow?" - King Arthur

 "Er ... I don't know that ... Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh!" - the Bridge-Keeper, as he is cast into the gorge.

Of course, only people who know of this movie will get the joke.

I plan to decorate the gully with my garden gators and some bones.


5/20/06-I built my bridge for crossing over the gully leading to the Cemetery entrance.
I followed simple plans on but used one wide, un-cut pallet,  mine does not rock, and I don't know if  I'll put up hand rails.
I acquired a sturdy pallet and extra wood dumped behind a nearby Home Depot.
Two of the pieces of wood on top were not strong enough so I replaced them (used an axe to aid removal) and filled in the gaps with the extra wood.
I re-enforced all the wood with extra nails.

5/24/06 - I painted it using black and a brownish-gray spray paint to appear weathered.
Around the edges and everywhere wood joined together I sprayed with a line of black paint.
I then lightly filled in with the gray paint.

Below is the bridge placed over the, I mean....
"Bridge of Death" crossing the "Gorge of Eternal Peril!!!!!"

2006...The Bridge of Death

Memorial Day Weekend - Did signs for bridge-bit using MS Word WordArt. I used Adobe Photoshop to create the wheel. Went to Kinko's to laminate ($8).  I plan to hang them all on one 2''x2''x6' wood post. 
Now I need to get an ugly, hairy little man to place at the base as the bridge-keeper.
I got two pieces of Styrofoam free at Home Depot (from an unpacked box of mirrors) to make two signs, Bridge of Death and Gorge of Eternal Peril but haven't started them yet.

July 1, 2006 - Bought wooden 1x1 4ft plant pole, painted black and mounted signs using staple gun.
Plan to use for July 4th party. Nailed in wheel at center. Works great!

July 4, 2006 - Flaws in design revealed - some cheap lessons learned.....
Pole almost broke in half when hammering into ground. Repaired with metal brackets. Will make pilot hole with rebar in future, pole too weak to tolerate pounding.

Also on the 4th we had a major storm with drenching, blowing rain and lost power for 6 hours. While cleaning up the next day from the party, I went to pull up the pole and noticed water had seeped in where I had stapled the signs to the pole causing the black ink to run. The top sign was ruined and I had ink running in the center of the wheel but it's salvageable. The middle sign was not damaged.  I plan to repaint and seal with lacquer where the laminate is broken by the staples. I will completely redo the top sign with larger lettering.

Realized the signs where too flimsy and would need reinforcement. Used a dry cleaning pants hanger and bent to support the sign. (kind of looks like a butt, don't it?) Drilled 2 holes in pole and inserted and glued hanger ends into pole. Will tape or glue hanger to sign and paint entire back black.



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İHolly A Zell
All Original Artwork Copyrighted.